What I never ever ever want to happen

"And I can't stand the idea of being alone. I can't stand the idea of being free." - Chuck Palahniuk

There are many things I don't ever want to happen. There are things I don't want to happen to me, things I don't want to happen to my family, things I don't want to happen to my friends, and the list just goes on and on. But there's one thing I'm most afraid of, because if that ever happens, it will be the end of me. Where I can accept anything that comes my way, I will never ever be the same again when it happens.

The reason why I don't want to see you, is because every time I do, I see you with some guy. And that scares me. Because I'm afraid that that guy will see how special you are, how wonderful and amazing you are, and he will profess his love to you. The same way I did. What I'm afraid of is you accept it. When that happens it's game over. I don't know what I'll do by then. 

Maybe he was your classmate, maybe he went to one of your plays, talked you up, and then just hit it off. But somehow somewhere you let him on, and you'd go out, have dates, falling for each other harder each day passes by. Eventually, he becomes your boyfriend, you post a lot of stuff with him, just him, like those putrid couples on Facebook I despise; he hangs out with you more, and eventually, at the right time, he pops the question. And you say yes.

Then comes the fateful day. You accept his proposal. You post the news that you're getting married. I read it. I think back, why was he given the chance that was denied to me so many times? Isn't life so unfair that love is a game played by everyone, but it's rigged so that the only winners are those who the women choose? Sometimes, just for the sake of saying it's fair, they show some ugly guy with a beautiful girl to keep the losers playing. But I digress.

All of that is irrelevant, if you just talk to me. Let's settle this once and for all. That's all I ask. I want you to know my side, and I very much want to know yours. This rampant ignorance of each other has gone on long enough and has hurt one side too much for anyone to handle.

So please, give this backwashed loser a chance. What have you got to lose?